When asked if we would find out if the baby was a boy or a girl my answer has always been,
"Either would fit perfectly in our family. I just want healthy."
More than just a pat answer we truly believed it.
We did, however, discuss that we would find out baby #4's gender at our 20 week appointment. With that decision I brainstormed this little plan to have the tech write it down for us and seal it in an envelope. Perhaps we would have a fun blue and pink party with just our immediate family or a big group of friends for the reveal.
The tech did just that. Wrote it done and tucked it away for us to celebrate later.
That was then.
After we stumbled out of the office an hour later, after having met with our doctor, we knew that our baby wasn't healthy. We really didn't know what to say, what to do, how to react, or where to go. Kevin headed north on US31 and we just drove. And drove. Our secret envelope unopened, but not forgotten.
Somewhere before we hit Grand Haven it hit me, "Kevin, I need to know now. If it's true that we will only have a few months to love this little one I need to know now. Our baby needs a name."
Kevin, trying to make things right in any way he humanly knows how started to dig out the envelope and pull to the side of the road.
"No, it needs to be special. I can't find out on the highway. I guess I'm not ready."
Driving further down the road our dear, confused little people in the backseat were getting antsy and thirsty. We pulled off at the gas station to buy water and gummy worms to appease. Again he handed me the envelope. I considered it briefly, while holding it up to the light, but couldn't stand the thought of our story being "we learned who you were while sitting at the gas station."
As it turned out I suggested that we just pick Gavin up early from school and head home to find out together. On the way to school we brainstormed how we would explain our news to our very intuitive five year old. And that's when we decided that we would start with a celebration.
Moments after pulling Gavin out of class, and sharing big hugs, he was the one to open our secret envelope - right there in the school parking lot. To shout out in his new found reading voice, "It says 'It's a BOY'."
A baby boy who our family already loves with all of our hearts.
We are so glad to know him and we would love for you to know him too. So, at this point I say (and please excuse me) "screw the rules" this baby boy deserves a name. A special name. A name that means something about all that he is and all that he is teaching us. He needs a name that we can specifically and confidently pray.
And it looks like we have some work to do.