However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
This verse is the premise for Dr. Eggerich's book, Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires and the Respect He Desperately Needs, as well as his marital counseling ministry.
After reading this verse Emerson concluded the primary need in a relationship for women is unconditional love, while men desire unconditional respect. He teaches wives the more respect you give, the more love you will get in return. Conversely, husbands, the more love you show the more you will be respected. Throughout the book, Eggerichs sites many examples of people he has worked with who have restored or revitalized their own marriages by recognizing the principles of Love and Respect and acting on it.
Love and Respect is divided into three sections, each describing a relationship cycle: The Crazy Cycle, The Energizing Cycle, and The Rewarding Cycle. The Crazy Cycle demonstrates how difficult it is for women to respect their husbands if they feel unloved, and how unloving a man will treat his wife if he feels disrespected. Dr. Eggerich's motivates readers to step out of the Crazy Cycle into the Energizing Cycle where a respected husband will react with increasing love and a loved wife will build up her husband with unconditional respect. The book specifically lays out 7 things men can do to be more loving to their wives, using the acronym C.O.U.C.H.E.S., as well as 6 things (C.H.A.I.R.S.) women can do to show respect. The Rewarding Cycle points couples to the ultimate goal of living out a marriage that is pleasing to God.
As I wrapped up this book last night I reflected on how I respect Kevin. Throughout our daily routine my actions often display respect, yet how often do I put, "I Respect You!" into words? I recognized the importance when Kevin came in feeling a bit discouraged about something else, and asked, "Why do you love me?" I realized what he was really asking was, "What do you respect about me?" I was able to answer in a way that better met his emotional and relational needs in that moment.
Love and Respect is a powerful book for building up your spouse and your marriage.
Thanks to Thomas Nelson's Book Review Bloggers program for providing this book for review.