A List Maker's Life: The Stories Our Trash Has Told

Monday, March 23, 2009

The Stories Our Trash Has Told

If you've come to party, check this out for an introduction to "the List Maker," who for today has turned into "the Letter Writer."

Dear Waste Management Professional (a.k.a Garbage Guy),

I bet you are just as excited as we are to see that we have successfully potty trained the second of our three small children. We are so proud of Anne Hope. I supposed you appreciate her taking a load off (literally) your load ‘huh?

I guess because we aren’t buying diapers for two, I thought it would be okay to throw out $$ elsewhere. Seriously, I didn’t mean to do it!!! It was a mistake. So, if you happen to run across the book of stamps, that Kevin so kindly made an extra trip to the post office to pick up for me, feel free to throw them back our way or make good use of them yourself. I hate to think that 20 perfectly good “Forever” stamps will spend eternity in a compost pile.

I see you noticed the significant lack of my crafting and cropping scraps in our can. It’s very un-usual I realize, but I have been spending my free minutes on the computer lately instead. Never fear! I will start tackling my pile of paper projects again soon…I hope!

Yes, there were 2 boxes of infant cereal in the container this week. Can you believe it! Our baby is 4 ½ months old already. He scarfs down the rice cereal as if it is going out of style. However, it really isn’t. Don’t expect any of those little fruit and veggie containers from our house for a couple more months…Dr.’s orders.

Please, please, please take away the cap-less markers, broken umbrella, and Match Box cars with only 3 wheels. I swear I’ve tried everything. Maybe you thought it was a mistake, but I very intentionally put them at the very bottom of the canister under the used coffee grounds. While I appreciate your willingness to sacrifice your cleanliness to pick through and save our toys I really don’t want to find them back in bed with the children. Wait…What? You think my little hooligans are to blame for the reappearing treasures?

Thank you for doing one of the dirtiest jobs! You certainly have an impact on our kiddos who wait at the window to watch you lift our trash into your “side loader.” (Although, if you could drive a rear loader by some day that would provide the ultimate thrill). My 4 year old son dreams of the day he will follow in your footsteps. He is quick to declare to most anyone who asks that when he is a “daddy” he will be “a singing garbage collector!”

Thanks for cleaning up after us all,
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5 comments:

  1. What a great letter! I too hide not only broken or Happy Meal toys way at the bottom but also the endless piles of papers from school that cannot be re-used for any other purpose but are considered treasures by their creators (but only if found, otherwise not a peep is mentioned of them being missing...).

    As for the singing garbage collector - he will be in good company with my 6 yr old who wants to be a teacher who will, after working a few years and earning some vacation, get a truck and stand on the back of it to sign for people. **sigh**

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  2. hahahah....I remember when Jon wanted to be a garbage man too....instead he ended up a Marine. I couldn't be prouder of the job he does....but I think a garbage man would have been a whole lot safer than being a machine gunner! UGH...I could have had less gray hair!

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  3. Too cute! I hope you meant recycle man ;)

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  4. Too funny! I wonder what the garbage man thinks about us? We're very trashy people!

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  5. Such a cute idea to use your writing skills like this! It was such a fun way to share with all of us what you've been up to. So clever! ;)

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